Did I get old or is moving house absolute hell? Yeah ok, it’s both.
Jesus Christ, and sorry Mum for blaspheming, but that entire process was absolute hell from start to finish (not that we’ve actually finished!). I need at least one more week holiday to recover – a month if you factor in my broken finger.
That is indeed right – I broke my finger on the very day we moved, by stacking it in an amusingly dramatic style across the room. This was then followed by me doing that whole awkward, polite British thing of pretending I was fine and then having to go to A&E after everyone had left with a finger so swollen they were worried I had nerve damage. Oops.
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Anyway, I digress. I know you are really here to find out whether or not I have buckled and bought some clothes, after having made a new year’s resolution to give up fast fashion and document my experience on Wear Next. Or has the need to buy a ridiculous amount of new furniture for my bigger, new place plugged the gap?
Well, the answer is that no – I haven’t TECHNICALLY bought anything new. I have, however, bought some clothes. *HIDES BEHIND HANDS* Don’t hate me!
So one night, POSSIBLY after a glass of wine or two, I got sucked into Depop and decided that buying a couple of pairs of 90’s punk tartan trousers was absolutely necessary. OF COURSE, both pairs looked predictably ridiculous and I immediately realised that even considering buying fashion from a 16-year-old in rural Germany was a worrying judgement call for a 36-year-old woman to begin with. And though it is really annoying that I can’t return them with a note about alcohol impairing my judgement, knowing that they came second hand from someone’s cupboard did make me feel a bit less guilty for buying them in the first place.
I think if I’m being really honest, the problem is that I am having a bit of a crisis of confidence these days and normally, I would try and use buying new clothes as a way to make myself feel better. I became a mother 18 months ago and although it has been incredible, it has also presented me with a problem I’ve never had before – not being in control of my body.
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I never used to have an issue with losing weight. I wasn’t really ever skinny and nor did I want to be, but if I put on a few kg’s over Christmas, I could lose them if I ate well and kept up my exercise regime. But since giving birth, I literally cannot lose my baby weight.
I’ve tried EVERYTHING. Doing epic amounts of exercise, giving up carbs, giving up gluten, giving up sugar, giving up alcohol – you name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve even seen doctors and had tests for a variety of things and although they have found a little benign tumour on my thyroid, there is nothing presenting that could be the reason for the 7kg weight gain. So that leaves me in the position of having a different body, and what I think is probably a less attractive body than I had before. That’s not easy, especially when you’ve got Gigi Hadid and Emily Ratjowski literally parading their abs 2 weeks postpartum. Nothing I own fits, and now I have given up fast fashion, all I can do is wear the baggy stuff from yesteryear.
So, have I given you enough of a sob story to excuse the Depop purchases? Phew! Although given how unsuccessful it was, I sincerely doubt I will buckle again. I have, however, started following a few awesome vintage websites on Instagram again and I can’t promise not to succumb! Wanderlust Vintage and Edited Closet are both killing me with their romantic embroidered vintage blouses and dresses. Tune in next month to see how it’s going.
Read Jemima’s last column here.
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